Starting fresh

Okay people,I've taken some time to think it through wisely about my lil t-shirt business. That was the problem of my insecurities lately and im revealing it now. Sorry to make some of you worried as i seem to have some moodie and emo moments.Especially to my bf, I apologize for any sudden over-reactions and the dont-feel-like-talking moments. Anyone thats into business, I'm telling (or warning) you,from my past experience that there is no playing around or the its-just-for-fun thingy when you're in a business. Make sure you do your homework well before starting anything alrite? If not, you'll end up like me-kusut tahap max,(insecure to the max) kekadang lapar sesangat(too hungry at times),kekadang kenyang la sgt(too full at times),kekadang tdo tak lena and mandi tak basah (slept not peacefully and bathed but not wet) and wasted alot of money as well as time. Haha sorry for the biligual thingy. Anyways,heres my real problem. I've done a few tees with stupid and ciplak (useless) fabric dye which made the colours to fade when washed. So 50% of my kusutness (insecurities) are caused by the guilty feelings that started to dwell in me eversince the complaints from my buyers came in. Another 20% was because of the new and actual fabric dye i found (that'll never fade) which costs so much that it choked me. It choked me and I almost cried like a baby. I HAD TO spent for some of the colours just to RE-DO the two t-shirts that my customers have ordered. So,yeah, its a total nightmare. Then,another 10% is because i had to cancel around 5 orders which before this I was really looking forward to do them. Since I cant do it,because the designs comsume a lot of colours and that as well means money, plus the new (and rather expensive) price i have to offer, I decided to stop doing handmade. Im thinking of doing printing from now on instead. So, I am going to start fresh by creating new designs as well as to start off again with printing but this is when the last 20% of my kusutness kicks in. I don't have the fucking money to fucking start fresh! As you can see (dnt bother the cursings) Its still a dilemma and im still freaking kusut. Dont bother me,i'll think once again. Meantime, heres my lil plan:

1. re-do the 2 tees
2. stick with selling paintings to get the money
3. get a name for my own clothing line (my own,not spinning jenny)
4. and lastly,do my fucking printed t shirts.(again,sry for the cursing)

Okay,yes, the third one. I know you're about to ask. The reason is, i don't feel like I'm in the team. I mean i don't feel like we're working together,as a team.It has always been an individual business anyway. So, why not just have my own but join them when we're involve in events.Im not 100% sure about this yet but...but....you know what, i have no final decision for ANY of theseeeee business thing yet. Yes,i'm still thinking.(pisses off) Updates later.ta.

p/s:Don't run or stop cheering (supporting) for me to go on top you cheerleaders (friends and others). Sorry for my crap.