photography anyone?

more on my flickr account.just click at my side bar= ))
cya!!

Forever

forever i will remember all the feelings that i get when im with you
forever i will replay the soft soothing words of yours in my head
and forever i will be yours.
we're 7 months in 2 days.
we've been through perfect happiness all this while.
never fought,just argue and laugh at the end of the minute.
how amazing u can make me feel.
clock ticks and not a second i dont think of you.
serious baby,i love you..and no one else could ever take that away.
sayang sangat at you,shahrin ismail.

MERCY!!

No,not duffy's mercy(if im not mistaken her albums called mercy,rite?) but its MERCY MERCY the band.Their demos out now only Rm 5.four songs.GET THEM NOW!

listen to their songs here:
myspace.com/moonamusica

7/10 overall.my own personal ratings= )

cinema-tic problem

I have yet to tell you about the terrible cinema 1 at Klcc,Well,lets just not be too hard on this,It may be the only time that it was terrible and i,along with say 50 other people were just unlucky.However,I cant stop but to think of such problem to occur after 50 years of independence and especially at a cinema in the building the whole world knows and wishes to visit.

Around last month,I was offered by my generous cousin and his wife to watch ironman.Being someone who loves going into the cinema just for the sake of the big screen and the big sound system which i always get excited upon,how could i resist such an offer.I said yes without hessitation.Ironman wasnt something i looked forward to but as i told you,i always get excited in the cinema no matter what.As we got in the cinema,we went straight to our seats,of course pfft,which was fairly positioned-not too close to the screen.My favourite place to set my arse down and the best view for my eyes is actually the last row of the cinema.Im not complaining,im just saying,incase you were thinking of belanja-ing me a movie =p.

Ok wokay,as i was saying,we settled down at our seats and as usual theres these ads right which took some time from the movie.Thats the norm and everyone forgives and gives chance for ads already these days. Losing the long sighs and patiently chewing their pop corns with drowsy eyes set on the big screen and body slowly and subconsciously sinking in their seats.Until the movie starts people will start sitting straight on their seats again,eyes wide open and suddenly chewing their pop corn with loads of epitite like they were chewing ham burgers.Their hearts suddenly pound faster for no reason,excitement i believe though,and minds were 'panicked' with curiosity.Too bad i did not have a bucket of pop corn with me.If not,thats how id be.Ironman started and it stopped the beating hearts of people seconds later.It had no sound and the movie did not stop.Worse,the starting was when the bomb exploded(in the movie).How can you watch a bomb explode with no sound?You cant feeeeeel the terror the thing that makes you inadvertanly fall back at your seats,the thing that gives you the extra speed as your heart races.Instead it crashes our hearts,a massive dissapointment.People started with the 'Oiiii APE NI!WOI WOI" and i went "HARGGHHHHH BOTO"=p

Well,seriously,it dissapoints us.11 buck tickets,i was angry and i didnt even pay for the ticket.The movie re-started and again,mute.An announcement was made to say that there was a techinical problem and were told to stay calm.We waited 10 minutes or so and thankfully,the movie went smoothly later.A refund or discount should be something we should have asked for but i guess people forgive,just like with the ads.
= )
&&& before i forget,I didnt expect ironman to be that good.3 stars if i were to rate.Worth the wait.
That is all folks.

lately

Im still very much alive right now despite not doing much and basically rotting at home losing my mind waiting for the acceptance letter to enter university.Recently i went for a mass comunication interview at uitm shah alam with pretty much confidence in myself.I brought something extra-a huge file of my portfolio which includes everything that i've done,my artwork that is,which I though was quite necessary for this interview.As i reached uitm,i discovered that it wasn't (necessary) and i was,in hundreds, the only one who brought a portfolio.Everyone came with just a small file of certificates.I didn't bother if I was 'the girl with a file bigger than her',but honestly i wished i didn't bring that along.You see,my intention was to show the interviewer(s) of what Im capable of doing you know,besides just talking sense like what i believe others who went for the interview was ready for.So its just a lil something extra-i thought.Until,my turn came rite,and i was so ready to create a convincing conversation with them.First thing I said to them,as i enter the room was about my portfolio.I told them i had something extra with me.And they were impressed with my work,seriously.Too impressed that we end up talking about my talent and they felt that its a waste fr me to take up mass communications as i deserve so much to be in an art and design course.Personally,i know i am all suite up to do art and design but i've thought about it and i want to do mass communications.So,they asked me a few questions like why i want mass comm and why uitm.I answered,trying my best to get them into interviewing me on mass com rite,like what I WAS THERE FOR.Heck,it didnt work.They kept telling me how good n incredible my talent is and i should go try out for ad interview.I didn't want to lose,i felt like crying.I told them,again,this..is..what..i..want.I don't know if i'm convincing enough.So heres what they said at last:-call up uitm and try out for ad interview tell them u din not get mass com.lyana,we like you,really,just try out for the interview,at least you'll have TWO OPTIONS later on to choose from.They're freaking twisting my head.Are you going to accept me or not.If im ok,if you really like me why don't you just accept me.You don't ask people to take up something they don't want.So I went out of the room feeling very2 miserable and regreted bringing my portfolio along.But by studying their faces,i still believe that they will,still,accept me in mass com.Ill just pray for now.But,screw you,i don't know if i should be mad at the both of you but you got me into being a bigtime moody n miserable pig.Yes,i feel like a pig.

rub it off.Im done thinking and i'll wait patiently for now.

sometimes...

sometimes.........

byk pikir
rasa still hard to get around with people
i feel stupid
rasa want to go bck to childhood days
rasa want to fast forward
rasa xnk duk msia wanna stay somewhere else
rasa want a newlife
missing the old times with my brothers and miss being the centre of attention
rasa everything i do or say aint right
rasa i dont deserve the good
rasa people take me for granted
i can be neurotic
i care too much what people think of me
i just don't bother
i feel like a coward
lifes just so sucky n cruel.
i feel defeated.
i need someone badly

insecurities.xhabes2 haunting me.im such a 'negative creep'

blade o blada= )

Whats been up besides my business?

Heres the cliche line.Lifes pretty much the same.Im 18 and Im like most other 18 year olds,who decided to wait for the results and not to go to college.I don't know if I have a solid reason to not go to college but I have again,like most 18 year olds,few selfish reasons to not go to college: I was afraid I won't get the time to 'enjoy' and do whatever I want if I were in college right after spm.Secondly,I am not ready to get my brains to work and to learn new serious subjects which also means i am too lazy and in need of a break from studying.Thirdly,well theres no third reason.I guess if I were already in college i won't get the chance to do alot of things:

I won't get the chance to develop my art and get myself involve in business.I do see this as a learning process actually.I think i've learn how to appreciate money more compared to before.Although i've always knew that to earn money is not easy,but it was just not more than knowing that fact.Now,i've actually experienced it myself,going through all the hard work trying to get a single penny of my own.It is not easy peasy but the satisfaction you'll get after is such a pleasure.I just can't imagine how my dad works.I mean I feel like my life is too comfortable,getting everything i want,I don't see a single problem.He gives me everything.I just feel guilty-for not getting good grades and using loads of his money.Well,results will be out this wednesday and I'm so afraid to disapoint my parents.But what's done is done,I'll do good next time I guess.No use crying over spilt milk right.

Moreover,if I were already in college,I'll probably won't get the chance to spent time as much as i've spent with my boyfriend and getting to know him more.I'll most probably forget about him and hook up with another guy from college or staying single and being flirty like I was after school ended.Well,you know,the 'girls just wanna have fun' thingy.I'll probably won't get the chance to even know what a great friend he is,won't get the chance to meet his lovely friends and lets just say,i don't think he'll even be in my life chapter.

Besides that,getting into college that early would make me miss loads of gigs.I do enjoy going to gigs,supporting local bands as well as meeting new people.My social life definitely has improved so much more by getting involved in these things.I mean,i now mix with people easily compared to before,I only hang with my close friends.I've also learned to be more friendly to people.hihi.Not to say that I was not friendly before but I just did not bother much of other people.;)

I might not also get the chance to have my vacation in Perth,Australia this may with my momma if I were in college.Yes,I'll miss teh chance to have fun during winter there!Plus this time around i'll only be going with mama alone,just the two of us,leaving the rest of the family behind.My dad was moody for a week or so when we decided to go there.He ended up buying himself a new car.Ah well,whatever makes you happy,papa=)Ill also miss the happy moments i spent with mama.Going for breakfast,lunch or just hanging out getting a drink and talking crap.Im not ready to leave her alone.Im too close to her.huhu yeah,anak mama.

Oh!college would also cost my dad alot.I mean,it didn't matter if I were as smart and as hard working as KOng Lee Lian or Kushin kaur or Shamine Sanusi-my babes=p.If I were them,I guess i won't be wasting my dad's money,it'll be worth it.So,yeah,few selfish reasons that i could think of for not going to college so soon.And i guess i've spent my break very well.I didn't waste my time and doing nothing.Though i must admit that going to British Council didn't really helped me much.I still have problem speaking,getting my words right and my writting didn't improve too.It helped me a little but you know,not much.Ill finish by end of march if I'm not mistaken.Can't wait though.lol.I don't really enjoy going there,for some reasons.

godddd,my heart just races everytime i think of the results this wednesday.I am going to faint.
wish me luck.Though,could i possibly get lucky still?miracle perhaps?That will so do!
cheers everyone= )

SOLD OUT!!!!

ALL S.K.I.P ART stuffs are sold out!
s.k.i.p art's first event at mcpa,9th march 08,managed to sell all of my stuff!thank you people!thank you thank you.=D
For those who were A LIL late to get one of my shirts,i'll print more soon okay?But now im up for a new design because i want something fresh!hehehe.

bdw,MANY THANKS TO:
1.fye and havana clothing
thanx for selling together and sharing the same booth just now.

2.my dear boyfriend
for helping me out at the booth and for making me happy=p but danggggg,i u farted TWICE at me today!give warning so that i can get away before u freaking release ur gas! tgk ah hang,aku kumpui gas aku byk2 dulu,kentut kat muka hang!sampai pengsan!

3.dear friend capik
tumpang kereta,anta umah.heheh.tq;p

4.qib and rest of my cuzins who came to mcpa just now
thanx teman jaga booth skali.and sonok dapat kuar mamam later that nite

5.zaxx my ex-booth neighbour=p (aliff yang mana then?)
for ur demo.yeay!i got one!!

6.my dad!
i know...i know....i was home too late..but i HAD to watch oag performed!!!but i guess midnites too late for a 18 year old girl to come home.sry to make u n mama angry and worried.didnt mean too,im serious.thanx for not scolding me when i got home just now..


THANK YOU once again.i've now get to taste success.more to come!perserverence freaking work!good thing i didnt give up last time when i didnt have customers and wasted loadsss of money.
cant do without you people.
i love all of u=' )

BANNER!

S.K.I.P ART BANNER!
Put this at ur page to show your support.hehehehehe
more designs soon okay.Curently busy trying to sell off my stuff,finishing the undone custom orders,and and and my brains pretty dry with ideas and inspiration.ehehe.
So,hope you guys await patiently.

love,
yours truly.

S.K.I.P ART!

people people!!my yummy printed items have arrived!!


ladies tees!RM25 each!
TWO LEFT!i manage to sell.very fortunate.but no worries im printing more this week hopefully.
thank you buyers!thanx for the support!

here are the matching bags!
7 bags left!
rm 12 each


dont forget about this handmade one.still up for sale= )


and this:order now!handmade rm 35


i hope to have new designs soon and more money for new printings.await for s.k.ip art's next edition!
THANK YOU so much!

UPCOMING EVENTS:ill be here!




yours truly.

Two a.m

randomness+boredom+insomnia

what songs keep you singing
what do they mean to you.
what you want
is what you do to me.

What thoughts keep you thinking
what makes us who we are.
what you think of me
is what I am to you.

sing for me
think of me
what we do
is what brings us to where we are.


As you can see,ive lost half of my mind.
results were not out yesterday as rumoured.rumours roumours.stop spreading them.Ive waited anticipatedly and with anxiety and curiosity.The eagerness to know my grades just burned out!
Friends,where are you??my hot babes.I miss you bitches.

Kushwin,i know your busy but ive also heard ur out clubbing pretty often.woooooman,you better get your licence done,take me out and i'll sleep wherever you're sleeping after.

Kong lee lian,i know your busy and taylor's your second home now but you have to take a break and hang with me,again.

Jane,i know your currently as free as i am,but where the hell are you??

Shal,i heard you're in sunway now and that is all.

raja,repeat what i say on shal.

aneesha,ive heard you came back from plkn recently but do you realize that we have not talked to each other eversince school ended?im textin you tomorrow!

chris,I have not a clue if you're dead or alive.

maureen,sweetie i miss you.

everyones scattered too far from each other.i want a reunion!!!!!

its a gig dude@mcpa

Again mcpa is the place for gigs.Yesterday had the 'its a gig dude' gig there and as usual the turn out was awesome.Its good to see people supporting our local acts,being there moshing,jumping, and headbanging to locals' very improved and rising bands.Among who performed were bunkface(fuck,i missed their show!),have a nice death,our very own kajang band hijau as the opening act,black territory,couple and few more.It was a disapointment for hujan fans though as they did not turn up at their show for some crucial reasons I supposed.Anyways,it was great.I also finally had the chance to meet up with my cousin belle whom i havent seen for months!I missed her so.Also,before the gig i had this little celebration with my boyfriend,just the two of us at kenny rogers in times square.It was to celebrate mine and his belated bday as well as our belated anniversary.As we arrived at mcpa we hanged and hanged before we got into the gig.I tried seeling my s.k.i.p art t-shirt but no one bought it.I was practically promoting to the ladies there(even in the ladies' room),gave them a short brief on what i do.Even though they didnt buy it,it was great to see them showing some interest in my shirt and were kind enough to save my myspace link in their handphones.Of course not all showed interest.There were also a few who quickily said 'no thank you'.Ah well,it was worth it and i don't mind people saying no.Thats just how it is.We get a yes and a no,so its okay.=)I also did a custom t-shirt my boyfriend asked loooooonnng time ago.I finally got it done and gave it to him at the gig.Before his show started,he changed to that shirt and so it means,he freaking wore that shirt during his show!=))It made me happy to see him wear that shirt which was actually something i did spontaneously without designing it first.Well,i had something in my head.Thank god it tured out ok but a little messy.

I was also happy that i got the chance to be on stage and take pictures of his band playing.It was my first try taking photos of performances at gigs.Out of the whole bunch of pics i took,only few which i was satisfied with.heres some:




Okay,they're not that good but you know,first try.maybe my second would improve.= )Couple was the last band to perform if im not mistaken.I went back straight away after they performed as it was already 10 pm.Plus,I pictured angry faces of my parents at home waiting for me.I was supposed to go home at 5 pm.Yeahhh.5 hours late!yikes!
heres them if uve never heard of em:


alrite.toodles yaw.

I'M FRESH!

Hey earthlings!Ive started fresh,finally!Please boys and girls,take a seat,relax your shoulders and shake off that curiosity .Ive finally made my decision after a few weeks of being seriously disturbed by my sinking business and the whole hole in my wallet thing. Allow me to represent to you:



S.K.I.P ART is my new art label.Im on my own now.I've got to tell you that i feel pretty darn good about this.Im slowly trying to develop my art into my interest as well as other's.What i've learned so far is,it has to work both ways.Agreement between myself and the public(what majority would want).What i do is basically anything that im capable to do with art which includes paintings,photography,drawings,scribbled arts on anything thats possible and what i've mentioned earlier,t-shirts which i do them handmade and printed.I also do custom t-shirts but custom shirts(only handmade) is still on the hang because i've ran out of money to buy the super duper expensive fabric dyes and pens.Meanwhile,some of my shirts and bags,yes bags*new* are at the printing shop now.I should be able to pick them up and sell by march.so stay tuned here=)

Here's one of my handmade shirts.(ladies')My first s.k.i.p art design.Its up for sale and its rm35.

ladies come on,buy one!
For orders or if you're not clear about s.k.i.p art,please do contact me via myspace which you can just click my link at my side bar.
Please,please tell your friends and everybody about s.k.i.p art.spread it please.= )
Thank you people.!
support me,our local bands and brands.Msia boleh!=p

today im a champion

......because i had the guts to invite these to boys in,who crashed my home earlier today knowing that my parents would just appear at the doorstep anytime. Anyways,it wasn't that great actually as im feeling very feverish today.But still,all in all it was great hanging out with these two.my bf and his friend coppola.
some pics:

coppola's reall good at taking blur pictures im telling you; )ehehe

pelajar-pelajar drop-out sekolah menengah kebangsaan cicak kobain.

...and coppola just wears anything he founds at my house.first was the cowboy hat.then this

He also started to get high with my boyfriend,"mari kau,mari kau agagagagagagaga"

agggerrrrrrmuaahhh.dapat pon.awwwwwhhhh yearrghh

ahahaha!so that some some sneakpeak of just now.
till next time lah;)

so much for my obsession

Well i just cant stop painting. I want it back. The passion thing. I mean i have it but its currently not coming out.aggghhh benci! I've tried sitting and getting ideas but its either nothing or crap. I was so down last night that i couldnt sleep ,had a big headache and sheded some tears. Yes..its this big of a disapointment to me. The bf told me i shouldnt paint when im like this. It should be when im ok and happy and all ready to paint with a big smile. I cant smile..I just hope it comes back..and happy valentines syg.Wish you're here= ((

Here's something i painted last night.but it lacks passion..I don't really 'feel' this painting.


acrylic on canvas size of 8x8 in.
Im putting it on sale.
tribute to nirvana gig at skizo studio,cheras.
1st march 08 at 1 pm onwards.

getting people to appreciate my art is as hard as getting people to appreciate me.
Im waiting for someone with experience/an art critic to come up to me,shake my hand and tell me ive done a great work.A great work.Out of my bunch of paintings,i'll still be on top of the world if only ONE of them got recognition.its tough..and everything seems cruel= ( I'll accept all the rejections..although its of a million..

stressed

everything else but me is controlling me.They're eating me up.I need a break..What i want is not strong enough too come out. And i hate it..i need a break..i really need one..

im pathetic..

Too awesome to forget!!

THIS is a video of last year's prom.Our prom rocked HARDER when these guys,rock n roll john, do their thang on stage.MAN!i want to go back to those moments!!!!!I feel the urge to PARTAY right now!danggggggggggggggggggggggg.Didnt i tell ya our prom was the best ever.

and heres a beautiful pic i found on ain's page of us beautiful,hot and wild ladies:



and if you love rnr john,view and add them at their band page:
www.myspace.com/rnrjohn

im telling ya,YOU SHOULD.;D

and oh,this!!!


29th march 08
annexe central market
rm13 per head
1pm till end

spread it!

Starting fresh

Okay people,I've taken some time to think it through wisely about my lil t-shirt business. That was the problem of my insecurities lately and im revealing it now. Sorry to make some of you worried as i seem to have some moodie and emo moments.Especially to my bf, I apologize for any sudden over-reactions and the dont-feel-like-talking moments. Anyone thats into business, I'm telling (or warning) you,from my past experience that there is no playing around or the its-just-for-fun thingy when you're in a business. Make sure you do your homework well before starting anything alrite? If not, you'll end up like me-kusut tahap max,(insecure to the max) kekadang lapar sesangat(too hungry at times),kekadang kenyang la sgt(too full at times),kekadang tdo tak lena and mandi tak basah (slept not peacefully and bathed but not wet) and wasted alot of money as well as time. Haha sorry for the biligual thingy. Anyways,heres my real problem. I've done a few tees with stupid and ciplak (useless) fabric dye which made the colours to fade when washed. So 50% of my kusutness (insecurities) are caused by the guilty feelings that started to dwell in me eversince the complaints from my buyers came in. Another 20% was because of the new and actual fabric dye i found (that'll never fade) which costs so much that it choked me. It choked me and I almost cried like a baby. I HAD TO spent for some of the colours just to RE-DO the two t-shirts that my customers have ordered. So,yeah, its a total nightmare. Then,another 10% is because i had to cancel around 5 orders which before this I was really looking forward to do them. Since I cant do it,because the designs comsume a lot of colours and that as well means money, plus the new (and rather expensive) price i have to offer, I decided to stop doing handmade. Im thinking of doing printing from now on instead. So, I am going to start fresh by creating new designs as well as to start off again with printing but this is when the last 20% of my kusutness kicks in. I don't have the fucking money to fucking start fresh! As you can see (dnt bother the cursings) Its still a dilemma and im still freaking kusut. Dont bother me,i'll think once again. Meantime, heres my lil plan:

1. re-do the 2 tees
2. stick with selling paintings to get the money
3. get a name for my own clothing line (my own,not spinning jenny)
4. and lastly,do my fucking printed t shirts.(again,sry for the cursing)

Okay,yes, the third one. I know you're about to ask. The reason is, i don't feel like I'm in the team. I mean i don't feel like we're working together,as a team.It has always been an individual business anyway. So, why not just have my own but join them when we're involve in events.Im not 100% sure about this yet but...but....you know what, i have no final decision for ANY of theseeeee business thing yet. Yes,i'm still thinking.(pisses off) Updates later.ta.

p/s:Don't run or stop cheering (supporting) for me to go on top you cheerleaders (friends and others). Sorry for my crap.

i miss these guys.

they've been missing!craig nicholls-my younger-days hero; )you still rock my world mate!

Of fats and fats and FATS

life rate= 5/10

Alrite,i got few people coming up to me and ASKed me how i grew so fat. You should see their faces. They look disapointed as if its them whos grown fat. Yes,DISAPOINTED. I am not kidding, they even gave me this disbelieve look and sort of 'omg,you're A pig now!' look. Well, thanx guys and semi-congratulations,you brought down my life rate and if you succeed further, you'll probably bring down my weight too;D. Just let me tell you about myself first. I am....like a life version of a balloon. I inflate and deflate. Thats it. Enough said rite? I inflate AND deflate.I feel like a sumo wrestler now. I am going to exercise and diet at the same time. Kill me if you see me eating 'high calory foods' , Im giving you the permission to do so.Its just that guys, I inflate when i'am happy. Have you ever felt being happy, at all? Theres no borders, no bounderies. You'll do whatever you want and often subconciously. This is what happens. You binge and never felt any more beautiful. Well, until someone comes up to you and destroy your happiness by saying you're a fatty now. Don't get me wrong people, I thank you for telling me off. I aint want to grow fat. Its the thought of how to lose weight that brought me down and not what you people have said. Am i twisting you're minds? No,the last sentence was the real one. Scratch the top.;D

Jgn risau,aku exercise skang.ok?
Dont worry,ill exercise from now on.ok?
Damn, look how concerned you people are. How can i not love you guys!;p huggies! ( hug me now while im still very flashy;p )
take care kids.

Kusut serabai kepala otak

Im very very kusut(insecure + big headache) right now. Just when i tot my life rate was at 9/10 it went down to 6/10 in just 5 hours. Sheesh. Ive been sitting here on my bed for hours figuring this thing out(some problem im not telling in here) and it fired me with a huge headache. I should learn how to handle problems better. I need to buy a self-help book. I am serious. But first I need to calm down, stop being anxious and start solving this stupid problem.

1. write down all the problems im facing on a piece of paper
2. Go to the bathroom and wash my face
3. Make a hot tea
4. Write down what i think i need to do in order to solve the problems

And I really should change my sleeping time. Its all wrong timing lately. I need new daily schedule. I should sleep at midnite and wake up at 6 am.Wow, I know. I'll turn into a perfectionist by year 2010. Geoff Thompson (an author ) had put a great impact on me. Im a neaty now and everythings practically in order. My room is no longer a mess, my books are arranged nicely at their racks and i tidy up my bed after I wake up. I couldn't help it but praise myself on this. I have no idea how i could actually keep up with keeping everything neat when before this i even had a rat died in my bedroom beneath my dirty clothes on the floor. I think it got lost in my room, couldn't pass through the mountain (pile of my dirty clothes), got fed up and died. Im not sure if it was suicide or suffocation. Poor rat.

Off.

Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year everyone!

You know, one of the things i love being in a multiracial country is that theres so many reasons to celebrate. We, have all kinds of celebrations and its great, its awesome when you think about it. The vibe is there, the happiness and love is in the air and smilling faces everywhere. Aint that just awesome? I love seeing people happy and i love being happy. Plus more public holidays for the kids and working people. Theres just one lil problem right now. I feel the urge to celebrate, to get out there and have fun with people and of course to get ang pau but im stuck here, at home. I dont know what to do or where to go. My chinese friend is only doing an open house in a weeks time. I feel like shopping. alone. But im here in Kajang and its too far or rather i feel too far to go to Kl. Normally from Setiawangsa, my apartment, its only like 5 minutes taking the lrt. I could go there back and forth anytime. OK, I know, I've complained too much.

Anyways, my life's at its peak rigt now. If I were to rate my life i'd give 9 out of ten. Thats how great my life is right now. Why not 10? Money. Money is a big problem. I am always broke that it scares the shit out of me. I'm sometimes depressed because of this. Whoever says money can't buy happiness, screw you. Money can freaking buy happiness. There should be no debate about this. I want money . I know, i know you people are screaming 'get ur ass to work!', or the less rude people would say,'kau keje ar dowh 'or the nicer ones would say, 'u should get a job,u know '.Thank you people but I am working,ok? I have a job. I make ts and paintings and other creative stuff. Its just that these things need a lot of investment. And Ive just invest a whole lot of money. To get that money back takes a lot of time. I mean A lot. I'll try not to think about it. But no one is stopping me from going shopping once i get the money. Delay all the outings! I need to shop! Sorry friends who were kind to ask me out for a drink, i seriously have no money and although actually i do have some, they're just not meant to be spent.
The 9 out of 10 includes happy being 18, done with highschool, an awesome relationship with the family,boyfriend and friends, more days to do whatever i want ,growing and inviting business and yeah,everything just seems great. Now this is the reason for my gained pounds.I binge like nobody's business these days and ive definitely grew fatter. This is what happens when ur life rate is 9/10.I need to sweat. I seriously need to s w e a t. GIG! I need to go to a gig. I gotta tell ya thats the best workout ever! Here's one im looking forward to:

HARMACY and MUCK are playing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They play good shows im not kidding.But,15 bucks.dayemmm.now its 50-50. Do you see what I mean? Happiness is taken away just like that because of 'kecek elek' (no cash).

Happy cny again!

im proud of myself; p

Heres a customer of mine who made me proud. Thanks Lini, for the support. I appreciate it so much! I'll call u up if i need a model. muahs!;D

Special day over. Many Thanks:

Thank you everyone for wishing me for my birthday.You people are the sweetest ever!It was a great 18th birtday i have to say.Felt awesome.Thanx mama n papa for bringing the big family together at cozy house at Great Eastern Mall, Ampang.Also for the delicious chocolate cake.Thanx Fairuz,my brother who wished me the first and at midnight sharp.Not only that, u even gave me two lovely picture frames.I love it. Abg Hafiz, though you couldn't get me the body shop lotion i wanted, u still gave me fifty bucks which was damn awesome of you.hehe. Aunty Yah, for the jean-type bag which i plan to use it for class.My other aunts and cousins who added to that fifty bucks, thank you also. To kak emi and abang Nizar, you guys have bought a present that i love so much. A photo album full of cats; p. You know how much I love cats but i cant help it that Im still a lil sad about the tragic and traumatizin death of my cat remang who was not only a cat but was actually my soulmate. Anyways, i don't plan to blog about her. Its too sad. Nufail,my 'twin' , thank you for the t shirt. Syg kamu. Iqin, fairuz's girlfriend who was very kind to give me a cheerful coloured card which made me all excited just by looking at it,thank you; D. It was a simple yet great birthday.

Whats more exciting is abg Nizar and Kak emi ordered two paintings sizes of an A3. Type of painting like i wanted selling at annexe. And Jim Flora's (an artist) style. Ive never done this type of painting but i did not say no.I will not say no. I will never say no. So, yes I am going to do it. No matter what. A cousin of mine also ordered a tshirt from me which is great. Adam, a friend i knew from myspace also ordered a shirt which i have to design for him. So hey, Im still in business ;D Then few hours ago I spent quite long being on the net just to find people who are doing art works or organizing events. I really need to broaden my 'horizon'. I need to spread my art. I really need to improve. So, i added a few just now and i found a new organizing team,bebas who was actually introduced by nufail. They're like rantai (another organizing team) but is newer and much more easier to approach compared to rantai who doesnt really reply my inquiries or wtv. So, thats alright and thankfully i found bebas. The better news is that they're still looking for a photographer to be in their team. So, without hesitant i offered myself. Showed them my work and they will consider it. They'll inform me if im in or not, soon.This is bebas:


check them out at www.myspace.com/bebasmusical

Back to last friday,I went to my apartment in ampang which is a concrete jungle which i dont really like staying in because im a nature freak. So, a home surrounded by buildings really gives me a headache. Everytime i go there i'll be homesick. I'll miss my whole-life-home here in Kajang where i have trees all around and a garden like a golfcourse with full of much fresher air. Anyways i went there in the morning and sat for 15 minutes,read the newspaper (yes,i read the newspaper;p) and was bored shitless later. So I went out to klcc on my own by the lrt which the station is only across the road from the apartment. Didnt feel like walking alone at klcc, unless i had the cash i wont mind shopping. alone . Since my pocket was empty, I textd shahrin (my boyfriend) to come hang out. Thankfully, he was free and came few minutes later. Well, Wangsa Maju isnt that far, so yeah. We walked around klcc up and down, round and round till we decided we could not do that anymore. So Shahrin had a great idea.We went in the Petronas Gallery to see some art.He finally knows what type of person I am; ). The amazing thing about this gallery is, it's free. F R E E. and i just got to know that! nampak sgt org tak appreciate art. And although its free, you dont see people in there! Anyways,i enjoyed it so much.

Thats it folks.goodnite.

The power of armpits

Armpits are parts of our body that well,we are not fond of. So far I have not met anyone that loves their armpits more than they love their other parts of their body. But do you think armpits can be something that attracts the opposite sex? I don't mean like a real turn on or anything haha but it could be something, you know, like people do check out your armpits to judge you at some point. For an example, guys don't want girls who don't shave their armpits, do they? and ladies well,hairy armpits for guys are fine i think. I mean I won't fine them odd. Anyway there is a guy who said this in his profile on the 'who id like to meet' section: girls with nice armpits. Hahah!rock on, dude! Well, i guess it IS something that guys do look at.And I gotta tell you, razor blades are no longer good enough for perfect armpits these days. Thats why, whoever the geniuses are, came up with all sorts of inventions to remove body hair. If im not mistaken the latest is by using laser, innit? For common people like me, who doesnt have the extra cash just for the removal of armpit hair, we stick to razor blades or twizers(ouch). Or,avoid wearing sleeveless and keeping armpits down all the time.

Speaking of keeping armpits down, you know, if we're sweating do make sure that they're down!Because if our armpits are sweaty, they get really dominant. They'll start producing milky sweat which stinks and could really suffocate another person. Now, the reason i say this is because i was stuck in a bad situation-in an commuter packed with sweaty people. Being short as I am, I had 3 pukey armpits of different people right at my freaking face-In front, left, and right. The worst thing is I couldnt move and my stop was not any sooner. I was gasping for air, I needed oxygen very very badly and im not exaggerating. It was awful. Im not sure if they've heard of deodorant.I am going with heels of 3" everytime i get into a public transport with people from now on. At least theres 'less polluted' air on top.hah.

cheers people.

growing passion

It is time that i stand my ground. I am going to say it loud and clear without a single doubt or fear (wow,it rymes,now where did that come from):

' I have passion in art and my passion lies deep within. I am not an artist by profession but i know there is an artist in me. People are always full of doubts and they are always (most of them) very negative on thoughts or ideas or some creation by other people. People tend to have this narrow minded thinking or mentality of bringing people down instead of being humble and helping people to the top. It saddens me, but that is how most people are. Thus, with myself experiencing and encountering a lot of these negativeness from people around me, bringing me down and making me to even have a thought of giving up, I would just like to now stand firm and say 'you failed'. You almost burry me under the ground but the sun has shone once again.ok,whatever that means. What im trying to say is, I'm not a chicken anymore nor am I a sheep. Im a lion that roars. I am no longer hesitant of showing my work to people and Im not scared of making mistakes anymore. I believe and Im sure everyone does, that art is very subjective. Everyone knows that art is subjective so why do they still critisize just to bring people down. Such an irony, I have to say. I will now accept all sorts of criticism from people with an open heart. Ill take whatever there is that I need to go on top, consider others twice and leave whats not necessary. Its no doubt that it is the one way to improve, innit?. Last but not least, I feel sorry for people who tried,try or are trying to bring me or other people down. I feel sorry that you can't actually do what we positive people are doing. And I feel sorry that you can't step out from your 'comfort zone'. Thank you. Rest assured '


Now,these are my latest,biggest and best work so far.stare at it as long as you can.you might get my message.



This piece is called ' faith muse and courage '. It represents what i have said ealier. But let me just explain in detail. I have painted this when i got the inspiration to change. So, this piece really means a lot to me basically because it is the first piece i've done that has a true meaning and represents me. The new me. When i was painting this I made a decision. I will not allow anyone to bring me down. Just like what i've said earlier. I now have faith,muse(inspiration) and courage. ' Faith ' is represented by the colour light blue. Its a soft colour which means it is firm and will always be there.Its okay if people don't have faith in us but it's important that we have faith in ourselves. For ' courage ', I used red to represent it as courage needs to be strong and on-going. Courage always comes with fear.Thus there is still 'fear' in this painting (represented by the black paint).This is because,there is still fear in me.But the fear will only be the shadows of the courage.Shadows.They follow but they dont lead.Courage leads. The rest of the colours in this painting represents muse or inspiration. There are many colours for it because muse is everywhere.Its scattered and of all sorts.Okay.tell me what you think;D



Now, this painting is for me being a loyal fan of Kurt don cobain for almost five years already. In this painting it shows my view on his life. It was full of depressing and unbearable moments, preassures from surrounding but yet, a true soul living in him.Cobain,his guitar,art and music are the things that actually made him happy, that made him HIM. He has his own beautiful world and he is a man full of originality.And i admire him for that.The painting shows towards the end of his life where i drew a gun and lots of red paint which symbolises blood spilling.It shows that he could not stand the media pressures anymore, at that time as well as being eaten up from the inside due to drug addiction.Its really sad but he will always be remembered.And i know this for sure.There.*wipes tears.


Okie dookie,you are free to judge now;D.

WISHLIST!

Well, well, my birthday is in two days time. Just wanna let the WHOLE WORLD knows that im turning 18 in 2 d a y s t i m e
!.sweet sweet 18.Oh,and you know what,i would REALLY appreciate it if you people would buy any OR all of these for my birthday:i know u nice people just cant wait to get me presents but heck, just dnt know what to get me rite? kick off the sighs,i made it easier by doing you this list.

1. It'll be very nice if you people would buy me A PAINTING from the first shop on the left as you enter annexe central market.

2. If thats gnna make a big whole in your wallet, as the canvas + the oil paint + the intelligent talent of the artist would sum up to big amount of cash, getting me ACRYLIC PAINTS are good enough.

3. Though if you really love me and dont mind spending,you can always get me a FILE for my portfolio which I saw at kinokuniya (at the stationary section, just walk straight to the back).It costs RM118.not too bad ey?

4. No worries if you dont love me THAT much (haha;p), buy me CANVAS.big or small doesnt matter. BIgger are always better. you know that rite? i know im right.

5. BRUSHEs or black FABRIC PENs will be f i n e..............

6. OH oh!how bout a new BLACK EYELINER.the one that doesnt smear easily.yg mahal tu.(hahahah;p).it'll be great for my sepet eyes. and i always get it tattooed so i promise you it wont be a waste. at all. at all.

7. If you like NOVELs,i like em too.but make sure its not the typical teen novel ok? coz im not one hahah.i mean the 'late teen' novels are fine. Adult fiction.you know what i mean.*gelak nakal (cheeky laugh).

8. You know what,i really r e a l l y need a new chair for my study section in my room. The MODERN STYLE STOOL which is best if the height can be adjusted. And and,i wud like bright colours for it. Green, red, or white. You know, the 'ikea' colours. oh ya,get it from ikea, hows that?

9. I would also really love to use some of BODYSHOP'S BODY LOTION.yea,i'd really love that.make sure its sweet smelling,not too mile not too strong. Find the smell that says, "im 18,im new,clean,legal and fresh.come to me,im here ooh baby ooh baby." haha. Thats too much. How bout just this, " im 18,im new,clean,legal and fresh" ok fullstop. Find me that.

10. last but not least...bring KURT COBAIN to life?i'd love a one night stand with him.

Okay,your pick guys. But i know you people are a bunch of cheapskates. And i know im not AT ALL mean. just throw me a pool party.haha kidding,just make sure you wish me ON my birthday.midnite will be best.;p take care 'kids'. wehehe

bla-de-bla

net not working.things are goin OK..
Though i really miss studying.haha.yeah.
cant wait to get into college or u and get bz.
plus i ran out of friends.yeah friends.ill tell you what people run out of.peop run out of cash or fuel.not friends.but me?my friends are mostly gone.dissapeared.poof!just like that.hanged with az last few days which was fun.been a while since we last hanged.thank you monkey for coming.Though he was late but i didnt really mind bacause i was hooked by this great book by geoffthompson at kinokuniya.'the art of thinking positive'.uhuh,the perfecto book for me.Ended up buying it.lol
aite,have to go.

new event!

hope sempat la buat my ts.3 days left.no sleep; /